Coffee Spiders, Deadly Garden, Celestial Sausage

Yesterday morning I woke up, stumbled bleary-eyed into the kitchen to make coffee…and there was a spider in the coffee maker. I didn’t notice it until I poured the water in the reservoir, and it jumped out and came running at me. Obviously, my day was ruined. Today, it seems, is subsequently ruined, as well. Tomorrow, ruined. Next week, ruined. In fact, I don’t know if there’s any coming back from this one.

Anyway, here’s the news:

• This deadly garden is home to more than 100 toxic, intoxicating, and narcotic plants.
• Is it a flaming ball of gas millions of miles away, or a slice of sausage?
• Spiders seem to have REM sleep…and may even dream. Probably of my coffee pot.
• The lost nuclear bombs that no one can find.
• The hoax about a man surviving frozen in the Alps for 166 years that inspired Mary Shelley.
• Giant figure filmed on mountain top in Canada or Tiktok hoax?
• Europe’s remote, lost-in-time villages.
• Robert Pope drank a pint of Guinness, then ran the entire width of Ireland in just under 24 hours.
• Would you try a recipe you found on a gravestone?
• Earth broke the record for the shortest day since atomic clocks were invented.
• “You wouldn’t steal a movie” anti-piracy ad may have caused more people to steal movies.
• “New World Order” conspiracy theory won’t save this Vancouver home from foreclosure.
• Giant venomous jellyfish
• A 7-day heatwave caused a 200-year-old tree in Portland to explode.
• Like the Tallmann family, this family fled their haunted home in the middle of the night.

Accurate depiction of the events in my kitchen.